Friday, June 1, 2012

~ Letting It Be ~



Why is it that allowing events to unfold, stepping back from the control panel, being present and breathing are so damn hard to do? On the one hand, it seems a natural state to just ... BE. But then Captain Brain steps in to muck it all up. 

'What ifs' turn into scenarios that keep me up at night. Planning elaborate dances around imagined problems, vacillating between positive and negative thinking, hopeful then fearful in turns ... it's exhausting and pointless. Fitful sleep and tortured dreams leave me far from refreshed in the morning. 

An entire year of warring, roller coaster emotions has left me without many reserves. And although the past months have been very much on the upswing, I'm still pulled way back from many of the people in my life. I've shared more here than I have with most people in my day to day existence this past while ~ perhaps because I don't feel the obligation to keep everyone up to date or the pressure to be engaged and ever supportive even when I'm crumbling to pieces. I can share here as much or as little as I please and I don't get a bloody guilt trip. Some of you have been incredibly supportive and loving to me and you know who you are. All of you have been kind, funny, helpful and interested and I appreciate that so much.


God, I'm getting maudlin. So, enough philosophizing. The good most certainly outweighs the bad and that keeps me smiling more often than not. Tonight, I'm playing the music LOUD, cooking things that make me feel yummy, creating some arty projects in my mind and hangin' with my purry and barky peeps. 

A friend asked my advice recently and I responded without really thinking. I said, "Life comes in hundreds of colors, not just black and white. That Crayola box lets us color our lives in a way that matches no one else's. But sometimes, pictures collide and create a whole new piece of art that can change the hues of who we are. No one but you can tell you what to paint." Once I said it, I thought, Now where did that come from???


Guess I'll get out my papers, paints, pencils, ribbons and findings and see what I create. Thanks for indulging me. 







16 comments:

  1. letting it be is easy when one accepts the idea and hard when one fights the idea. let go ,let God

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  2. I will ponder that when it gets bumpy. Thanks, sunny.

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  3. Love the way how you 'paint' with your words.......:-)

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  4. Wherever it came from, it was brilliantly articulated. I love it!! Love the photos you've used in the post. Are they yours? The first one is awesome.

    And to go with the final pic, a song:

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  5. exceptional pics... eloquent expression of your yinyangin year... (and a bit of maudlin's okay now, and even also, then)...

    and since you'll be playing some music, i'll add to musicmitch's melody... for the colors.. pictures... creativity of this crazyass but oft beautiful story we call life...

    (and, tho i don't listen to a whole lotta rod, this one, oh yeah... and yeah... gotta up this mo'fo' to voluminous maximus!)

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  6. on your note you said you'll be listening to some sarah in your bathtub.... (ummm, she gonna be in yo' tub? if so, a duet cd gonna be released?)..... so, that'll be mellow mode... with candles n' wine n' sarah singing to you..... but here you're saying you'll be playing, and i quote.. here we go... all verbatim... 'LOUD'....

    so here's another 'turn it up!' tune.... i love these two... i saaaaid... i LOVE these two!!!... hope you do these two, too...

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  7. Realizing and acknowledging that we aren't in control is so hard. Still working on that my own self, but better than I used to be so I guess that's progress.

    And yes, "Let It Be" is the song for this, IMnotsoHO.

    Good supportive wishes for you . . .

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  8. Hugs! Glad you are on the upswing (but you know swings go both ways).

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  9. Since I'm a fairly new contact, have no idea of the problems of the past, just wishing the best possible for the present and the future.

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  10. Thank you, Mitch. None of the photos are mine - I just went searching for ones that fit. I wish I knew where to find that fence! Maybe I'll paint my own. Thanks for the perfect tune!

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  11. And so I did. True confessions: I actually really like Rod.

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  12. That's when I start to get motion sick.

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  13. Thanks, Lynda! Most of the year's yucks I never spelled out here. This place was my escape, so you haven't missed a big story or anything. But now, onward!

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  14. Great, positive thinking helps in so many ways.

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  15. did u take these pictures gayle ???
    omg these are stunning !

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  16. I'm not sure of what has burdened you so much either. so i can only say that i hope things will be solved in a good way. very often we have the answer inside us, if we dare to listen to the inner voice. talking with a good friend can also make things clearer.

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